When should you start toilet training?
Before they can start training, your child needs to be given lots of opportunities for learning. Babies are born ready to learn new skills with our help and the best way for them to do so is through practice and repetition.
That's why it's important to think about potty or toilet training in the same way we support children to develop other skills such as brushing their teeth or using a spoon.
Just like when helping them to walk and talk, you can start teaching your child to use a potty before they stop using nappies. This gives them all the time and practice they need to succeed with being independent from nappies when the time comes.
See toilet training as a process rather than an event!
Shouldn't we wait for 'signs of readiness'?
No! Many children and particularly those with additional needs, will never give any signs that they are ready to potty or toilet train.
Very few children wake up one morning and announce they want to stop wearing a nappy! It's a bit like expecting a child to be able to run before they've had a chance to crawl.
You don't need to delay toilet training and wait for signs of readiness. Prepare your child by teaching them the skills they need.
Supporting children with additional needs
Almost all children can learn to be clean and dry. Children with special needs such as delayed speech, autism or a physical disability may find the process more challenging.
Children with an additional need often need more support with learning to use a potty or toilet, but we recommend following the same 3 step process: preparation, practice and then stopping using nappies.
The longer they wear nappies, the harder it may be to introduce a new place for them to wee and poo. Therefore, it's important not to put off toilet training for too long.
What equipment is needed for toilet training?
- A potty (more than one ideally). Choose one that is low to the ground so your child can use it independently. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on anything fancy, it has to do one job well: catch wee and poo!
- Some children may prefer to go straight to using the toilet. If this is your child, get a children’s toilet seat and a step stool to help them to feel secure and relaxed. Having feet firmly on the floor or a stool is the ideal position for fully emptying the bladder and bowel.
- A travel potty can be helpful when you and your child go out.
- Reusable cloth potty training pants are handy if you are travelling or when your child is at nursery. These are like underwear but with an absorbent layer to help soak up accidents which can be washed and used again.
- Using a nappy cloth will help your child to understand their body signals. By putting a cloth into your disposable nappy, you can give your child the opportunity to connect to what their body is doing. Being aware that they have weed is the first step to being aware of when they will need to wee.
Step 1: Preparation
Here's how to help your child gain body awareness and prepare them for toilet training:
- Check that they are passing some soft poo every day and there’s no underlying constipation. If you think your child might be constipated, it's important to sort this out before you stop using nappies.
- Make sure they are having plenty of water-based drinks on top of any milk. Keeping their bladder and bowel healthy and working properly will help with toilet training.
- Try to change nappies or pull-ups as soon as they are wet or soiled. This teaches your baby that it is normal to be clean and dry.
- Once they can stand, do nappy or pull-up changes standing up and involve them in cleaning up and flushing poo down the toilet. Talk to them whilst you're doing it so they begin to understand where wee and poo goes and the language we use for the toilet and how our body feels.
- Regular, short periods without wearing a nappy or pull-up can help prepare your child for how it will feel when they stop using them completely. Let your child have some nappy off time for up to 30 minutes after they've done a wee or poo. This will help them get used to not wearing it, without having an accident.
- If you use disposable nappies or pull-ups, you can add a washable, reusable cloth flannel into it so that it feels wet when your child wees. This is because disposables instantly wick away the moisture, making it harder for your child to feel when they have done a wee. Make sure to remove the cloth as soon as it gets wet to avoid nappy rash.
Step 2: Practice
From the time your child can safely sit up by themselves, they can start sitting on a potty with your help.
Good times to try a potty sit include:
- Shortly after they wake up
- After mealtimes
- Anytime you know your child needs to go (if you see them straining for a poo for example).
Once you've helped to grow your child's body awareness and they begin to develop confidence in what they've learnt, you can then start to build in and give opportunities to practice some more advanced skills. These include:
- Words or signs that they can learn to help communicate their needs to you
- How to push their pants down and pull them up again afterwards
- Good personal hygiene: the correct way to use toilet paper for wiping, handwashing and drying
Don't forget at this practice stage they can still wear a nappy, but it will boost their capabilities and awareness if they have some nappy free time and potty sits.
Dress them in loose fitting trousers during these periods rather than pants as they may confuse this with wearing a nappy.
Why feeling comfortable using the potty or toilet is important
Teaching your child how to use a potty or toilet and feel comfortable around wee and poo gives them a gentle journey towards being independent from nappies. It also helps avoid many common toilet training problems in the future.
Talking about wee and poo when you change them and letting them see you use the toilet gives your child the message that it's a normal part of life and nothing to be afraid of.
Make sure you always use positive language about the wee and poo your child passes – don’t describe poo and ‘smelly’ or ‘stinky’.
There may be times when it is more difficult for you to help your child use a potty or the toilet, for example if they are unwell or if they refuse to cooperate.
Try to stay calm and not put pressure on yourself or your child. It's fine to only do what feels manageable for you both - it's all part of their learning process. You don’t need to abandon potty practice, just pause until your child is feeling better or more willing.
Keep the potty around, and talk about wee and poo when you're changing nappies.
Helping your child to learn through play
Using play can help teach your child what you expect as well as motivate them. You can use stories, characters and toys to explain to your child what they need to do and teach them how to do it.
For example:
- Have a favourite doll or toy pretend to use the potty
- Use books and pictures to show how things work
- Help your child add some stickers to their potty to make it their own
- Set aside some toys or books that they only look at when on the potty or toilet
Step 3: Stop using nappies
Whatever stage your child is on their toilet learning journey, stopping using nappies is a big change for them.
Here are some tips to help make this stage easier for you both:
- Make sure it’s a good time for you as well as your child. It’s best to avoid doing it at a time when there are any big changes or disruptions to your child’s or family’s routine.
- When you are ready, tell your child it is time to stop using nappies. You may like to help your child to say goodbye to their nappies and explain that from now on, they will do all their wee and poo in the potty or toilet.
- Make sure your child is drinking enough during the day. Aim for 6-8 drinks a day. Water is the best drink but milk in moderation and well-diluted squash is OK too.
- Dress your child in clothes that are easy for them to get on and off, so they can take the lead with using the potty or toilet. Some children learn best when they can be at home and naked from the waist down. Other children learn best when they are wearing loose-fitting trousers without pants.
- If you have a boy, encourage him to sit down on the potty or toilet for both wees and poos especially in the beginning. We empty our bladder better sitting down and it helps to prevent constipation.
Signs your child may need to wee or poo:
- They may tell you
- They may fidget, go quiet or hide
- They may crouch down and start to strain (for a poo)
If you see any of these signs or you know your child needs to do a wee or poo, gently direct them to use the potty or toilet.
This will increase their chance of success whilst they are still learning how to respond to their body’s wee and poo signals. Doing this helps your child to understand what is expected of them.
Using praise and rewards to motivate your child
Research shows that rewards such as sweets or sticker charts may help your child initially, but they can stop working quickly.
For most children, encouraging and supporting them to be as independent as possible is the best way to motivate them.
Tips for keeping your child motivated:
- Give your child plenty of encouragement and praise their efforts. When your child uses the potty/toilet or manages to stay dry, even if it's just for a short time, tell them how pleased you are.
- Try to stay calm when accidents happen and do not make a big fuss.
- Give your child the opportunity to do things for themselves as far as possible. This will help them to feel in control, positive and relaxed about the process.
- Use favourite toys, books or songs to help them feel comfortable on the potty or toilet.
- Try to avoid prompting or asking your child too often. Instead, wait until you think they need to go and then direct them gently, e.g. “it’s toilet time” or “let’s get that wee/poo in the potty/toilet!”
- Be clear, confident and consistent so your child knows what you are asking them to do.
Managing toilet training accidents
It is normal to have lots of accidents at the beginning and they are an important part of the learning process. This is a big step for your child, so be patient and encourage them.
Tips for managing accidents:
- When your child has an accident, clean it up together and remind them to use the potty/toilet next time.
- Do not shame or punish your child about accidents, as stress and upset can make it harder for you and your child to learn together.
- It’s important not to pretend an accident hasn’t happened. Help them get clean and dry as soon as possible and involve your child in this process. Gently explain that you want them to use the potty/toilet next time.
Toilet training out and about
When you first stop using nappies, choose a time when you can stay home with your child for a few days, so you can do some one to one learning with them.
Tips to make your first trips out easier to manage:
- Don’t forget your potty and spares of everything just in case!
- Make trips out short to begin with.
- Dress your child in clothes that are easy for them to push down and pull up again.
- Avoid putting your child back in a pull up or nappy for outings. This will confuse them and undo all that learning.
- A travel potty and washable car seat cover can come in handy.
- Using the toilet away from home is a good thing for your child to get used to. Talk to them about things like how the flush at the supermarket is different from the one at home or nursery for example.